University a Reality???

So I have some very good yet confusing (well to me anyway) news today.
I was given an early round offer for a very good university to do a combined double degree, Bachelor of International Studies / Bachelor of Law.
This is absolutely amazing because I never thought I'd make it into university considering how my schooling years ended. And I never expected to get into this course let alone receive an early round offer, especially considering the required ATAR is 95.9, and I don't even have an ATAR.
For all you confused non Australian readers out there i'll do a quick explanation of New South Whales (my states) education system.
After finishing primary school K-6 you start high school yrs 7-8 are considered juniour years.
Years 9-10 are your School Certificate years, wich is the minimum qualification needed to get into trade colleges and also the allowed drop out point. For people who choose to continue there's a further two years yr 11 and 12 wich are considered the HSC, Higher School Certificate years. I dropped out after my Preliminary HSC so never received a full HSC. Once you complete your HSC your given a ranking by UAC (University's Admission Centre) which used to be called the UAI (University Admissions Index) but was changed last year to a nation wide index called the ATAR (Australian Tertiary Admissions Rank). This rank dictates what course you can be accepted into at University.
I went from an A grade honours student to a barely passing flunky within a year, due to some serious issues I had in my life at the time, so I never finished my schooling and never received a ranking, I basically thought University was a dream I'd never get any more. So I started a trade and began to apprentice in Patisserie Chefing.
Thankfully I found out about a test I could sit called the STAT (Special Tertiary Admissions Test) that would be an ATAR equivelant offered by UAC. So I applied, and sat the two different required tests. I then applied for a multitude of university's, picking low level courses basically cause I thought its all I would be able to get into with a STAT as its not as good as an ATAR. Putting down Bachelor of International Studies / Bachelor of Law for me was done on a whim, I honestly didn't expect to be accepted for any courses so thought I may as well aim high for the heck of it.
I finally got my STAT results back, there graded from 100 - 200 and your given a percentile of how many people you beat basically, I scored 194 beating an apparent 96.7 % of applicants, I was incredibly happy, and so I got my hopes up thinking I might get into a low level Bachelor of Arts or something similar. Never ever did I expect to receive this offer.

But the problem is I'm now unsure if I want to commit to five years of study, for what is a rather rigorous degree, being a double bachelor. Both sides are very demanding, and the international studies side requires me to study at a foreign University for a Semester, add on top all the Law topics I have to complete it's quite daunting. So I'm thinking of accepting the offer but deferring for a year. That way I can get another year of perspective, hopefully travel and gain some more wisdom in life. And if at the end of this year I still want to study that course, then I'll do it. I'm just so unsure, I don't want to do it for a year and find I don't like it, because that's a lot of money and time to waste.

So do you guys have any opinions or insights for what i should do... it would be greatly appreciated

Adam xoxo

An Amazing Reader

So, I'm very, very happy and excited to tell you all about a new follower of my blog Mr. Coggy Colin. This guy is truly awesome, as he is responsible for the beautiful new personalised image header I now have. I didn't even ask him, I got this wonderful surprise when I woke up this morning and checked my inbox. So thankyou Coggy, your work is very much appreciated!!!
I think you should all go check out his blog at http://coggycolin.blogspot.com/ and give him some love by following him =D I know I have...

Laters my prettys

xoxo

Long time, no see...

Hello all my weary readers,

I'm sorry I haven't posted these past few weeks, but my life has been absolutely crazy and I do hope you can forgive me. The short story for my lack of updates is I had a major health scare and I finally came out to my overjoyed and proud father (if you couldn't pick up the sarcasm on the second point, shame on you!).
So basically over the past few weeks I've been told I had as much as a few years to as little as two months left to live. I'm rather happy to be able to tell you that both diagnosis were wrong, the downside is that instead of a rather aggressive cancer, I have a rather obnoxious and rare autoimmune disease with far too many letters in its name for me to ever pronounce properly. Well actually that's really a positive downside.
It shouldn't impact to severely on my life thankfully, just a few more medications to add to my list is all. And it has helped to explain why I seem to get every single bug out there, and why my colds always turn into full blown influenza!

In the midst of this scary health scare I came out to my father, lets just say I don't think I will ever experience anything quite as unpleasant. I hope you all remember D the boy I jumped ship to over C. Well long story short we will never ever be boyfriends because we discovered how very very good we are at being best friends. It's ridiculous really, who ever heard of dating for best friends lol. But back to the coming out story. So D was feeling down over some boy troubles so I went out with him for ice cream and coffee, and then like all good boys we went to the pub and got way too tipsy, which resulted in me doing a make shift poll dance on the stage using a pool table cue, the straight boys loved it funnily enough (thank god I shaved as well). On my way home I met the most wonderful bogan (the Australian version of a hill billy red neck hick) lady who shared her bottle of Jim Beam with me on the train, it was a right laugh!
Needless to say by the time I got home I was no where near capable of walking in a straight line, and my father was less then impressed being the anti alcohol Christian he is. I only remember snippets of that night, but here's how the bits I do remember went down.
Dad: Where have you been?
Me: Out with D
Dad: Who's D?
Me: A really good friend of mine.
Dad: Ohh I'm sure he is!
This is where things start getting really foggy, but I remember him yelling something about my sexuality, then he came at me and got a little bit physical and the next thing I knew I was kicked out of the house. It was about midnight, and I was wearing shorts and a really light cotton shirt, so it didn't take long before I began to freeze. Four hours later my dad let me back in telling me we would be having a talk when he got home from work.
That afternoon when he came home I refused to speak to him at all, so he kicked me out again, this time less violently thankfully. Until eventually he came outside and I yelled at him "I'm Gay!!! Happy now!"
We then went back inside for one of the hardest conversations of my life where I was constantly biting my tongue to stop myself from yelling at him. Basically he told me it was just tendencies I had, and like any other sin in the bible I could fix it. He went on and on about how he had talked to his minister and how he's organising what is essentially ex-gay counselling for me. I've come to the realisation that my father 'thinks' he is being supportive by adopting this course of action without actually realising how insensitive I find it all.
The kicker came when he asked me "Is it just urges and tendencies? Or are you actually practising?" I replied exasperatedly not wanting to go down that line of questioning "I'm just gay." To which he responded "Yes but what does that mean?" I couldnt help myself and responded "It means, I'm gay..."
That's where our conversation ended, I made my escape to my room, and since then we've barely talked about it, except for me getting my way out of every appointment my dads made with the minister.

I'm hoping given time, he might come around to a more supportive view. I'm not holding my breath though, at least he wont find an ally in my brother, which I think he was sought of banking on, so that's helpful at least.

I'm hoping to get into a good pattern of posting again now that most of my dramas have been soughted out.

Until next time

xoxo

Religion, Facebook and Chickening Out

Hey guys,

Well haven't I had an interesting last few days! Firstly, remember how I said I was going to come out to my family over dinner. Well I didn't, I chickened out. Although I'm using the fact we all ended up going different places for dinner as a good excuse. I know I should of, but I got so terrified I just didn't.

So you know how I'm currently seeing C, well it's going alright, although I'm beginning to have my reservations as I've noticed some things in him that remind me far to much of F. So last night I went on a date with another guy D, who's a pretty alright guy, who I had a very fun time with, but thats for a different post. The point I'm trying to make is, I lead an actively homosexual lifestyle, and this doesn't sit very well with my religious friends.
I began coming out to them at the beginning of the year, and most of them were ok with it, under the assumption that I was gay but remaining single and celibate to please God. I humored them with that thought for a while. Now that I've begun telling them that I'm seeing people, they've suddenly become very anti gay, I've lost two of my best friends and I think I'm about to loose another.
This prompted me to post a status update on my Facebook

yes it's true... so stop asking me already! and no I don't care that you don't approve!

This made my brother message me asking what it was, because nobody tells him anything. So I took a deep breath, clicked my heels three times and took a leap of faith and told him. I knew he'd be ok with it all, but it was still a horrible and terrifying 10 minutes of waiting for him to reply. But I love my brother and I'm happy I told him.
Now all I have to do is tell my father, who I can guarantee wont take it nearly half as well as my brother.

Love all you guys heaps xoxo

Spray Tans and Comming Out

Hey Guys,

I went for dinner and a movie last night with C, it was very very nice, and thats all I want to say at the moment. I want to keep it all to myself for as long as possible. Don't worry though, I'm sure to crack and spill everything within the week. On a side note, I didn't wear my Burberry Trench the stupid weather decided it was time for another heat wave, like seriously can it make up its mind already!!!

So now that its summer (well spring, but it may as well be with all the heatwaves)  I really need a tan! Its kind of the rule in Australia. As soon as the sun comes back out you must tan ASAP! I haven't been seeing enough sun for my liking though so I decided to give myself a little artificial boost until I can organise more beach time. The results, well, lets just say it went from good to bad to absolutely excellent.
I bought a spray on natural tan, one thats meant to dye your skin over time and naturally promote the cells to tan themselves, it sounded great, it promised absolutely no streaks and a natural even colouring. I was sold. So I whipped off my clothes and began spraying every inch of skin, the stuff dried instantly and it needed no rubbing in, and it promised to start working within three hours. Well after three hours I looked good, I had the beginings of a nice even tan, not quite up to my usual natural mediteranean tan, but a nice begining none the less. The problems arose when I woke up this morning. I looked like an oompa loompa! I almost burst out crying it was hideous. So I ran into the shower and began frantically scrubbing, I didnt think it was working. I finnally resigned myself to being an over sized orange and got out and toweled myself down. And you know what, when I looked in the mirror I got the shock of my life. I looked like I had a lovely sun kissed deep tan. I'd managed to wash away the excess dye and was left with the natural tan underneath =D so now I am extremely happy. I look a treat if I say so myself. C says I look rather hot too.

So recently I moved back home with the family. and well, its becoming a lot more annoying playing the game "as long as we don't talk about it, it doesn't exist." Especially now that I've got C in my life! So I'm thinking of starting World War III tonight and announcing at the dinner table, "I'm gay, and I have a boyfriend." Closely followed by "Please dad, don't look so surprised. It's insulting." I expect a yelling match to follow that proclomation. Infact I'm expecting dad to invite the minister over as quickly as possible so he can change my wicked devious ways. To repent and follow the lord at all costs, and all that tosh.
Ohh well, it can't be avoided and its better we get it over and done with now rather then let it play out longer and longer.
So wish me luck, heres hoping I still have a home by tomorrow. =P

xoxo

New Found Hope???

Hey my prettys,

So that menopausal roller coaster ride I mentioned in my last post has taken yet another turn. This time for the good it seems.
First off for people who have read my early posts you'd know about a boy called B who I randomly hooked up with. Well don't expect him to grace the pages of any other post, because that boy is after one thing only, and its not compatible with what I'm after.
On a very happy note but, a new boy interest C has graced my doorstep =D
We know each other through a friend of a friend, and we went on a date today. Nothing big just shopping at the local mall, and it was so absolutely sweet. He seems like a really genuine guy, hes a couple years older then me, but he looks like he could be younger lol. He has the cutest smile you ever did see. We've really hit it off well, we just seem to click which is really nice, and we've already organised to go to the movies tomorrow and then hit the city on Friday night together. Did I mention he's like seriously cute =D
He drove me home today and we sat in his car talking for a while, and then he walked me to my door, which I thought was the nicest thing ever. I feel like I'm in high school all over again. When we reached the door it was like something out of a sappy romance, you know the ones that always star Hugh Grant. He leaned in and gave me the most tenderest kiss I think I've ever had. That's basically sealed it in my mind for him. As you should know I love kissing, I love good kissing! And his was perfect, it was sweet, tender with absolutely no tongue and left me wanting more... absolutely everything a first kiss should be!

So now I'm really excited and over the moon, I cant wait till tomorrow night. Although I'm having a major meltdown over what to wear. Do you think my Burberry trenchcoat might be a tad to much for just the movies???

Anywhos I've got signing and dancing to do down the halls of my house, ah young love it is sweet.

xoxo

P.S. Thanks to C, the bad mood F put me in has totally gone, I havent even thought of him =D
P.P.S. I'm not in love guys... yet, lol I don't fall that quickly, thought I should clear that up just in case I came across a little too sappy and in love lol.

Ex Means Ex Get it?

Hey all,

So over the past two days I think I've experienced something similar to the emotional rollercoster ride of menopause. And I place all blame on my ex-boyfriend F. You see yesterday would of been our year and a half anniversary. F being the big douche bag he is decided to call me, I wont bore you with the full conversation but this is basically how it went.

F: Hey baby, i'm so sorry, can we please meet up and talk.
Me: Look F you fucked me up really bad, and i'm only just recovering i dont need to go through this again.
F: Please babe, let me just explain please.
Me: No F I really dont want to hear it youve done enough
F: Began yelling at me

I quickly hung up. I've since received no less the 27 txt messages from him ranging from apologetic to angry to down right scary. Not to mention the countless calls I've rejected from him. I'm still trying to work out how he managed to get my number, I've changed it twice because of him already.

So maybe a bit of back story is in order. F was a really great guy, I'm pretty sure I fell in love with him, which makes this all so much harder. He changed though, into someone I can barely recognise. He became very manipulative and controlling towards the end of our relationship. He always had to know where I was and with whom, he didn't like me hanging out with my gay friends. He used to tell me the sweetest things and somehow managed to get me to do things I normally wouldn't of done. But I didn't mind I was in love and he was a bad boy, and he took on a very protective role to me, two things i'm an absolute sucker for.

The day before the incident occurred we had a pretty big fight and I was totally down and depressed. I couldn't stand it when he wasn't happy with me. We were meant to go to beach house party of a mutual friends but i didn't want to go. He ended up guilt tripping me into going, I was only there for him to parade me around on his arm in reality, not that I realised at the time. A strange thing occurred, I found myself mingling at this party without F by my side. I wasn't sure where he'd gone off to but it was odd because he always stayed near me, to the point of suffocating me really. The last few days were getting to me, and I just needed a moment to myself so I set off looking for an empty room. I entered a bedroom and what I saw was like a scene out of a bad movie, there was F on the bed with some boy I had never seen before having sex. My entire world shattered. In that instant I broke so completely. I ran, and I kept on running, I wasn't watching where I was going  and I eventually ran onto the beach and into the shallow surf where I collapsed. F's older brother was also at the party and he had seen me run out of the house to the beach crying. J and I have always got on really well, and I seriously have no idea how him and F are related, there like chalk and cheese. J pulled me out of the water, and up onto the dunes, and held me for a while trying to get me to tell him what was wrong. It was only when he said he'd go find F for me that I told him what i'd just seen. He was ready to go and get F for a totally different reason after that. I stopped him, and he offered to drive me home. He was so sweet my knight in shinning amour, he ended up staying with me that night letting me cry all over him. Hes such a great guy J if only he wasn't straight.
I haven't seen F face to face since, J went and got all my stuff off him, and left him in a bit of a state. You should of seen the photos of what he did to him looked like it hurt, cant say I felt all that sorry for him.

So yeah. Thats what F did to me, and it's been really hard to get myself back together since. I really dont need his bullshit at the moment and I wish he'd just stay out of my life.
These old wounds still seem far to fresh for my liking

Anyways I best be off to the the land of sleep, Its 1am in the morning here.

xoxo

Do I Want to get Married?

Allo Allo,

Great news for the Australian Gay Equal Rights campaign this week. With the 'National Day of Action for Marriage' this Saturday it is with overwhelming joy that I share this news with you. Over the weekend the Victorian Labor Party at its state conference passed a unanimous motion to legalise same sex marriage. Calling for the Federal Government to take the issue before parliament once more, and this time legalise it. The chances of this occurring however are slim while our country is under Prim Minister Kevin Rudd's leadership. Known to be a devout catholic and having already binned two previous attempts it is highly unlikely, especially when he considers the mass popularity he achieved among the Hillsong church during the election one of the major contributing forces to his win.

Either way this is still great news, because now two states have called for the legalisation, Tasmania being the first earlier this year. And with another federal election just around the corner, surely this we'll be a prime topic future candidates will be trying to support.

However, I was thinking to myself do I personally ever want to get married? And honestly I really couldn't give two hoots. I believe marriage is something that should stay within religion, its one of there sacraments so they can argue over it and deny it to whomever they see unfit. What I want is to enjoy all the legal rights a married couple is granted by the government, I want a civil union. Presently if I was in a committed relationship with another man, and say he got a terminal illness and was in hospital, I would have to carry around with me several different documents stating I had legal rights to make decisions for him in the event he couldn't. I would also need to have a Justice of the Peace and Lawyer on call just in case. And even with all of that it still wouldn't be a guaranteed matter that I'd be recognised. Thats just one of the many rights we currently don't have equal footing with our heterosexual brethren.

We abolished the white Australia policy in the 1970's and gave Aboriginal people equal rights with the rest of us, lets hope that in the 2010's we will abolish the Gay Discrimination laws in place and grant equal rights to us as well.

xoxo

Haters

Hey guys,
There are plenty of haters out there, those that condemn us for being who we are. My families a prime example of that. Its one of the main reasons I'm still so closeted to them, especially my father. I don't think I'm strong enough yet to be able to fight that battle with them. I truly do understand there Christian perspective having been bought up in the church, but at the same time I don't understand how they can be so comfortable preaching a message of hate, when as far as I'm aware Jesus only ever preached a message of love and compassion.

A blog I've followed anonymously for a long time updated today and prompted this post of mine. The blog being Ryans Life. You can find the post in question here http://aguyinlove.blogspot.com/2009/11/dont-understand.html
The general gist of it was that he had received hate mail from an idiot who conveyed his wishes that it was Ryan suffering from AIDS. He hoped that Ryans blog would die along with him.
My heart goes out to Ryan. These ignorant fools who attack us, have a profound affect on us, as much as we like to say otherwise.
I  for one am very glad that Ryans blog shall not be disappearing any time soon, because for seven years it has been a voice amongst the homosexual community. It has been a torch to the wider community, a personal insight into what its like being gay. His blog has inspired me since I started reading it, and it is one of the main reasons you see my own blog up and running.
His story has given me courage to share my own.
So Ryan don't let them get you down, just keep on smiling.

xoxo

The Perils of Nana Napping and Detox

Hello my freaky lovelies,

I thought I would share something I just found out only moments ago. Nana naps while detoxing DO NOT MIX!!!
I'm currently doing a detox diet, you know the one where you eat one very small low carb meal a day and drink a whole heap the rest of the time. It's day 5 and I'm going strong. Already my skin is looking smoother, tighter and fresher =D I've also lost all that weight I put on in winter!!!
The down side of this diet is that I'm increasingly feeling more and more tired. So this afternoon I decided to take a Nana nap just so i'd be all nice and fresh for my nightlife. Good idea? WRONG!

When I woke up from this Nana nap, I woke into a state of total confusion. In mere moments I was gasping for air, and frantically searching around me for a sign of familiarity. I had absolutely no idea who I was, where I was or what I was doing. I was absolutely scared shitlesss. Finally my eyes landed onto an object that I was familiar with, and I quickly remembered I was Adam, I was in my bedroom and that I was safe and sound in my house. What was this god saving miracle item that restored my sanity you might ask? Well it was my purple hair dryer sitting on the corner of my desk. In hindsight the photos would of been a more logical choice but I'm not complaining, that hairdryer saved me!
So I'm putting this moment of near hysteria down to my lack of food, and I am refusing to Nana nap for the remainder of my detox, 3 more days to go people!

I hope that this cautionary tale will help you think twice the next time you decide to Nana nap while detoxing.

xoxo

My Sister has Really BAD Taste

Hello everyone. 

So I have the most beautiful little sister in the world. She's almost 16 and she is the image of a model. Very tall, fine bone structure, softy creamy skin and beautiful golden brown naturally streaked hair. Theres only one problem with it all. My sister is really a boy!

Sure shes got the parts to make her a girl, but on the inside she is the biggest Tom boy I know. While I was playing dress ups with Barbie and Ken she was playing with toy cars. When I was taking ballet lessons she was getting dirty in the mud playing soccer.

Now thats irony for you.

But despite this I love her a great deal, I even let her borrow my clothes (I always have to re shrink my skinny jeans when she wears them though!). However I'm now finding myself in a bit of a conundrum, you see it's her Year 10 graduation formal soon. And as we all know, a graduation formal means dress shopping, lots and lots of dress shopping. Not for my little sister though, when it was my formal I'd already started looking during first semester, I'd also bought several different outfits along the way just to be sure I'd have the perfect outfit. My sister however, I had to badger her from first semester until a month ago before she even bothered to think about it. I finally managed to drag her out shopping and she reluctantly admitted to having lots of fun. I took her to all the best shops in Sydney, I don't think she's ever felt so pampered, and now has an insight into why I love to shop so much. We kept running into a reoccurring problem though, no matter how good the dress I picked out for her looked she would insist it was too much and I apparently had to expensive taste. Well I wasn't going to let money get in the way of making my sister look the most beautiful girl in her year so I told her, when we found the one, I would buy it for her. Now theres this wonderful little gem of a store on the corner of King Street and Castlereigh Street in the city called VOI and it stocks last season designer clothes. I took her there, it being one of my favorite places for in my opinion a bargain, and low and behold we found the most beautiful Pierre Balmaine SS09 dress, it was going for around $600 because it had the slightest tear on the seem, not that you could notice. When my sister tried it on I don't think I've ever seen her so beautiful. I was ready to buy it then and there, but she convinced me that she wanted to think about it first before I bought it for her. I reluctantly agreed.

So here comes the kicker, she went out the other day with her snot nosed, spotty faced, dumbass unfashionable girl friends yesterday to the local mall, and came back with the most ugliest dress I have ever seen. It was off the rack for $70 and I thought that was too much for it, should of been we'll pay you $100 to take it away from our store. I told her I thought she looked stunning in it, that she would light up the room, I even lied through my teeth and told her that I thought it looked better then the Pierre Balmaine dress. I wanted to tell her how hideous it was, but she's my sister and I love her. In a way that dress is her, awkward and unsure of itself. Most importantly it makes her smile, it makes her happy, because I know despite how beautiful she would of looked, she never would of been comfortable wearing a $600 dress. So despite how much I hate it, it makes her smile, and my sister smiling is more important then anything else in the word. Who am I to take that away.

xoxo

P.S. what I do find funny but, is my sister likes to go through my wardrobe and pull on my clothes and then ask how much shes wearing, just so she can gasp when its usually a couple thousand dollars worth. Yet she can't pull off a $600 dress... Tom boys, I don't get them.

Why is Australia so BIG?

Just a quick update my darlings.
So I just got off messenger from a very enjoyable night with a sexy as all hell boy from Perth. We both belong to the same social networking site. So while we were chatting over msn we decided to spice things up and pretended to be slutty little lovers who wanted to share all our dirty little secrets in the social networking sites chat room. I was laughing my ass off. Especially in moments where id say 'tell them about that trick you do J' and then J would message me on msn saying 'what trick!?!?!?'
Needless to say we had the entire chatroom under our spell... gay men are just too easy sometimes.

Like all boys who have just enjoyed making up sexual fantasies for the enjoyment of a chat room we found ourselves in a bit of a state, that we came to a mutual way of helping out if you get my drift. And now all I can think is 'why is Australia so BIG?' Theres a three hour time gap between us, a 2 week car trip, a 4 hour plane ride, and I think its utterly unfair! On the plus side I have relatives in Perth, coincidentally in the same suburb. So maybe that shall come in handy for a future rendezvous.

Thats all my beautiful darlings, I need my beauty sleep now.

xoxo

P.S. I was talking to B tonight and I think I shall have an interesting update for you all in the not so distant future.

A Books a Book

Hello everyone.
So I said i'd most likely be posting again tonight, and I am. Though not what I originally intended to post, however thats neither here nor there so lets get this show on the road.

I love to read and write... especially write (as if you couldn't tell seeing as I'm writing a blog). I've written heaps of stuff over the years mainly short stories, several incomplete novels and two complete novels. And every time I've picked up the pen to put ink to paper I've been happy. Sure I don't intend to see any of the stories I have written ever see the light of day, regardless though, they have been excellent learning experiences where I could hone my tools to write better and better. So now I have put pen to paper once more, and this time I would like it to see the light of day. I'm writing in essence about me, about my friends, about every teenage gay boy in this world. Yes its that very cliche niche in LGBT literature the coming out story. However I don't look at it like that, instead I see it as a story of life, of understanding. Sure coming out is a very big part of the journey but its not the be all and end all of a gay teens life. So who knows? Maybe one day you'll see a book by me on the shelf of your local borders. Be sure to buy it! The lord knows I need to pay my electricity bill.

Another thing about writing that I've recently thought about, is that I would very much like to be a contributor to a multi author LGBT blog or something like that. I think i'd be rather good at it. I always have an opinion, I am one of the many voices of gay youth, and most of all I think I would get a real kick out of it. So if you know of any openings, drop me a line will you =D
Otherwise I'm just going to have to hope someone out there in this vast cyber world notices me and likes what they see and offers me a chance. ***WAVES BIG RAINBOW FLAG HOPING YOU NOTICE IT MR. EDITOR***

So that's me for tonight. I hope you sleep well my beautiful people, i'll be sure to talk to you soon.

xoxo

Sunday Mornings

It's really quite beautiful today, this morning was glorious. The sun's out, but for a change this week its heat isn't overbearing.
So being me I called some friends and we set off to a local cafe to enjoy breakfast. It was lots of fun, I wish you could of been there. The highlight came when one of my friends tripped when trying to get up to go to the bathroom and managed to spill his juice all over himself. It was highly entertaining. I wish I could share the pics I quickly took (thank god for camera phones!) but alas  being anonymous and all that tosh I can't.

I talked to my internet rendezvous boy, lets call him B for the sake of simplicity shall we. Nothing much of note, just casual banter, he's still rather cheeky. I think we might be meeting up later this week to watch a movie, which would be nice. I'm not to sure if this will lead to much, but I've figured its worth a shot.

I need a new job. No not because I need the money. I need a job because I'm becoming dead bored just lounging around all week. I don't miss my old job which was in hospitality, I gave it up so I could go to University next year. I think however a casual job in retail would be nice. Well at the very least it will help alleviate my boredom! So this week I shall endeavor to find some form of employment. Wish me luck =D

Anywhos a bit of spring cleaning I've been putting off is screaming my name, so its best I attend to it.

Enjoy your day my beautiful people! I might update later tonight with something else depending on a few things =P

xoxo

Creepy Older Men

So its a Saturday night, and I'm here sitting on my bed typing away... Woe is me!!!
And what am I dooing at this very moment. Well I'm talking to a mate from Melbourne, and chatting up a rather cute boy who also happens to be from Melbourne... Never doubt the power of the internet.
I wish I was out with friends though, but alas the mulah is a bit low this week. Ohh well theres always next week to hit up the Oxford Street Nightlife I suppose.

I just looked through my emails today and found no less then 4 old creeps asking me if I would have sex with them for money. As I'm sure you can tell, theres no way in hell I'd degrade myself to creeps like that. Don't get me wrong I have nothing against the prostitute profession at all... Heck I subscribe to two of the most famous call girls blogs, and I think they are a treat!
Its the old geezers I take issue with. Firstly I do not dress like a slut! Apparently , I've been told,  I attract them because I'm 19 and I have a sexy twink look about me. Well being 19 is a given but the sexy twink look I think is a matter of opinion.
It creeps me out, they always ask for disturbing things, for example one guy messaged me

"Hi babee will give you $$$ for SEX option 1 my friend fucks you raw $200 and you take pics and send them to me, or 2 for $300 my friend works your arse while you suck me off"

Firstly why would I ever want unprotected sex.... have these people not heard of AIDS!!! I'm sorry 20,000 homosexual people didn't die in Sydney alone during the AIDS epidemic for me to be so stupid and throw my life away because you want to be a big dirty disease infecting douche bag! Secondly I would never go so cheap honestly what do they take me for? A crack whore?! If I was going to prostitute myself I'd be a high class call boy thank you very much, available to rich daddy's only upon request =P

So basically I find older men like this creeps. I like to term them the legal pedophile, cause while it still may be legal. When your more then double my age, in some cases triple, it is still pedophilia tendencies in my opinion.

On another note, the cute boy from Melbourne just said he thought I was sexy! Looks like I found another one who has slightly warped opinions. I think these people should take off there beer goggles!

Still who am I too argue if thats what he wants to think I wont complain cause hes rather hot himself =D

xoxo

The Issues of Bad Kissing

Hello everybody,

Well last night I did something incredibly reckless and foolish, and as such things go it is perfect material for me to kick off the real content of my blog.

I belong to an online gay community much like manhunt, but in my opinion with at least half the sleazeballs. I do quite enjoy going on it on the odd occasion, I have met many nice people who have become friends and the chat room is always good for a laugh when I'm just sitting back and relaxing at home. 

However last night something different happened. While in the chatroom, another guy asked if I wanted to chat to him over msn, so I quickly pulled up his profile and ticked off the various points, age, build and all that superficial tosh which is very important for the first date. He passed with flying colours and his picture was ever so cute, although it didn't show his face. So I agreed and gave him my email and we started to chat over messenger. He had a head shot as his display picture and he was very cute looking. He seemed nice if a bit cheeky which was quite endearing. Before long he'd convinced me to turn on my webcam, and after several failed attempts it finally worked and there we were looking at each other, and he was mighty cute.


 Before long we both managed to remove our already limited clothing and were engaging in some mutual eye candy pleasuring. It was all going ok, he was being cheeky still when he asked me if I would meet him, I said sure why not, to which he replied tonight? I'd never done anything like that before and if hes to be believed (which I am somewhat partial to do so) neither had he. Being slightly randy at the time and being up for doing something foolish I agreed, and a quick shower later and tip toeing through my house to sneak out, i was meeting him at the end of my street. We made polite small talk as we drove to a secluded industrial park nearby, a heavy blanket of awkwardness was permeating through the car though.

We eventually found a nice shadowy building we could park beside and that's when he made his move. Now lets get this clear, I love kissing as much as I do the actually nitty gritty end of the business. I don't think I've ever felt my lips so abused before, he had no technique, his lips were like the maws of a gaping fish, his tongue was attempting to reach places long forgotten and better left alone. I cant stand someone who thinks a good kiss is a full on game of tonsil hockey, so I tried to do a closed mouth kiss, which I quite like, and instead found my lips being sucked into his mouth and his tongue wiping itself all over, it was to put it bluntly horrible. 

The night had only just begun, and I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt because he was cute and cheeky. So I let things progress. It had been some time since I had actually done anything with another boy having come out of a messy breakup which I promise to share at a later date. However the old adage you never forget how to ride a bike proved true once more, and I dare say the boy had the best blowjob of his life. While not the best blowjob I've ever had he did redeem himself quite remarkably all he needs to do is learn a bit of finesse. 

We kissed some more, he thought it was cute trying to trap my tongue ring in his mouth, note to everyone out there, this is not cute but thoroughly annoying and somewhat painful. I bit his lip in return =D
We once again made small talk during the car ride home, and this time thankfully less awkward. He dropped me home and we said our goodbyes. I sat outside playing with my dog for an hour before I finally snuck back into my bedroom, my family none the wiser.
And now I find myself wondering if this was a once off thing. I hope not I wouldn't mind seeing him more, although I shall definitely have to teach him how to kiss properly, but hey I've heard that's fun.

I hope you don't judge me to harshly for this dalliance, although I must admit to feeling a bit like a slut today. Having never done this before I now ask myself would I do it again? I'd like to say no, but you never know. Either way if I do I'm sure it will make for another interesting read for all you beautiful people out there.

I'll keep you updated if anything comes of this, an actual date hopefully, but who knows.
until next time
xoxo

P.S. Not everybody has such a redeeming personality like he did, so if you find yourself to be a horrible kisser practice, practice, practice. First impressions mean a lot.

G'day and all that jazz...

So firstly G'day,

Yes I just used that most clichéd of greetings derived from Australian slang. I now promise to never, ever utter it again on my blog,

So hello and welcome to this wonderful new blog of mine. I'm Adam, which while not my current name, was actually my given name for the first month and a half of my life. I only thought it fitting to use it for this anonymous blog..
As the title clearly indicates I'm a gay boy from Sydney, Australia. Please take note that I say boy and not creepy 40 year old living in his mothers basement who's writing this hoping it gets him laid. I'm 19 about to turn 20 very shortly and absolutely brimming with life.

I've decided to start this blog so I can share my life with you, a release if you will. Without all the condemnation of you actually knowing me. I hope it brings something to each and every one of you who read it. Most importantly I hope you gain an insight into the life of a young gay man, its highs, its lows and everything else in between. Apart from keeping my identity safe I intend to share with you the intimate truth of being me, Adam: a gay boy from from Sydney

xoxo